And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
