no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
FUCK WHALES
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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