i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
