you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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