so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
