Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
His nipple licking is glorious
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