first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
