saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
