...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
