Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
