dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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