is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
