I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it glows. i had to have it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
