so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
