i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
