i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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