i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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