Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
