Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
