yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
