i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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