Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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