forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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