that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
is it fun? or sober?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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