awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Someone signed my nipple.
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