he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
