You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
