Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
