Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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