and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
