there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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