Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
two words: eviction party
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My vagina just clenched in fear
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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