I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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