are you so shy because you have an std?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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