Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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