this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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