I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
