Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
