theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
