found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
