Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
