if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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