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• (310): View more from California

  Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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• (661): View more from California

  how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.

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• (61): View more from Australia

  I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs

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