it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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