she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
