I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
