But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
