Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
