Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
