i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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