You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
